“Are you ready for a night of unbridled passion, my sweet?”, Dorian asks.
His fruity voice filled with enthusiasm as he gazes lustfully at his loving wife. Abigail returns his gaze across the bedroom chamber with a seductive smile pleased with his pirate ensemble, particularly the eye patch and the hat which bares a striking resemblance to Beppo’s that she had carefully picked out for this evening.
Wearing an alluring lace negligee, she lays on the bed in a suggestive manner. Her elevated upper body rests on her arms.
“You bet I am tiger. Come and get it RRaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHH!" ”, she replies in a sultry voice.
Upon her invitation, Dorian replies in a pirate accent, “Arr! C’ming me buxom beauty!”
He sprints towards the bed and leaps on top of her. He wraps his arms around her and they kiss.
She slides her hand downward along his body and gasps at his reaction.
“Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.” He remarks with a mischievous grin.
After several moments of necking, Dorian announces,”I’d love to drop my anchor in your lagoon”.
She giggles and replies,”Well if you must.” They both slip under the sheets.
“Mmmmm”, she moans softly. The volume and frequency of her moans varies as he explores each of her crevice.
Unsatisfied with the progress, Dorian decides to change his technique. He jerks his head under the sheet and glides his way down her body. Once reaching the target area, her body responds to the stimulus.
“OHHH MY!” Abigail lets out a loud satisfied moan.
“OHHH MY OHHH MY” Each moan becomes increasingly louder and frequent.
Reaching climax, she screams,”OOOOOOOOHHHHH BBBBBEEEPPPOOO!!!!”
Stunned by his wife ecstatic outcry, Dorian stops dead in his tracks. A second later, he bobs his head from the covers and gives her a scornful look.
Spitting out the release from her trembles, he exclaims,“ssspp puuuuhh…. BEPPO! “
“This whole time you were fantasizing about BEPPO…THE GNOME?!” He asks furiously. All trace of his pirate accent gone.
Catching her breath, Abigail suddenly realizes her error and blushes red with shame. Unable to meet her fuming husband in the eyes, she says defensively, “It’s Beppo the magnificent and…and gnomes are people too.”
“Are you having an affair with him!!” He asks accusingly.
“NO!! Of course not. I would never do such a thing to you. EVER” Abigail cries defensively.
Dorian shakes his head and gets out of the bed. He removes the eye patch and takes off hat.
“I can’t believe it. This whole time we been having coitus, you were thinking of Beppo! I am such a fool. I should have known with all these props…”
He peels off the faux chest hair and flings it to the ground.
“Your constant request for me to crouch. All this time I thought you wanted me to be a midget pirate!”
Immediately Abigail responds, “I am so sorry darling. I can’t help myself. Beppo is just so..so dreamy. There’s something about him… I…I just can’t resist.”
She sighs upon the very thought of Beppo but after seeing the wounded expression on her husband face, she adds, “But I still love you. You’re so wonderful and I am very much attracted to you, honestly. What I have for Beppo is just a crush. It will pass, I promise.”
Dorian begins to dress his normal work attire.
“What are you doing?! Please come back to bed. I promise I won’t think of Beppo ever again!” Abigail pleas.
“I wish I could believe you.” Dorian replies shaking his head in hopes to shake the hurt away. “I can’t bare the very thought of you excited by another man.. male gnome or whatever the creature may be.”
He picks up his soldier gear and all his belongings and turns to his worried wife.
Abigail immediately gets out of bed and rushes to her husband side.
She grabs his arm and pulls him towards her. “Wait – where are you going? We can work this out.”
Tears gushes down her face as she earnestly begs,“Please…Please Dorian don’t leave me!”
He nudges his arm forcefully to free it from her grasp and looks her intently in the eyes one last time.
”Goodbye, my love” With his finally departing words, Dorian heads out the door leaving poor Abigail on the floor in tears.